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cheekily:

uvuu:

certainslantedlight:

lonelywhiteasian:

uvuu:

why is it called “coming out of the closet”? what were u doing in the closet anyway?? 

sucking cock

not to be racist but my best friend is gay and i do not think she would appreciate that comment.

since when is homosexuality a race 

She said she wasn’t being racist do you even read

theirs:

a zoo of dogs dressed up as other animals

doglets:

If you are the older twin, call your little sibling a few times a day and be like “when I was your age” and then describe what you did 7 minutes ago

depressionista:

a true fact about spiders is they can’t run for extended periods of time because they have asthma. all spiders are nerds. even tarantulas. have you ever seen a spider dating a hot babe? i doubt it. spider flashing his cash in the club? nope. spider pulling up beside you at the lights in a lamborghini? never happened. they’ve got so many eyes because they love reading. nerds. all of them.

unclefather:

gf: Come over

me: i can’t i’m skiing

gf: I have dog treats

me: image

congragulation:

so this guy who suffers from premature ejaculation comes out of nowhere

coalgirls:

it dont even feel like may it dont even feel like any month we just floatin thru time

Aren’t you like 12 said the 16 year old to the 15 year old

foulmilk:

me